Overcoming the Impacts of Judgment: Learning that It’s Not About You


Overcoming the Impacts of Judgment: Learning that It’s Not About You

We've all been there - standing on the receiving end of judgement, feeling the weigh of outside opinions on our shoulders. Whether a critical comment

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We’ve all been there – standing on the receiving end of judgement, feeling the weigh of outside opinions on our shoulders. Whether a critical comment from a colleague or a disapproving look from a stranger, it seems we live in a world where everyone has something to say about everyone else. But remember, when people judge, it’s not about you, it’s about them.

Understanding Judgment

Judgement, at its most essential, is forming an opinion or conclusion about something or someone. It’s fundamentally a part of our cognitive processes, and everyone indulges in it. Yet, it’s crucial to understand the motivations behind this seemingly universal trait. People judge because of their inherent biases, lack of understanding, or even as part of their defense mechanisms.

Psychologically speaking, our brains are wired to make snap decisions as part of our survival instincts – a mental shortcut known as ‘heuristics.’ These heuristics lead to judgements, often shaped by our backgrounds, experiences and societal conditioning.

Judgment – A Reflection of the Judge, Not You

Remarkably, when people judge, it primarily reflects their own insecurities or biases, not an accurate evaluation of the person being judged. For instance, someone overly critical about others’ fashion choices may actually be insecure about their own sense of style or someone judging another person’s lifestyle might be projecting their dissatisfaction with their own life.

Ultimately, the act of judging stems from the judge’s subconscious, reflecting their experiences, beliefs, and insecurities more than anything about the person they are judging. So, when you’re being judged, it’s not about you.

How Judgement Impacts Us

Despite understanding that the judgment of others reflects more about them than us, it is not always easy to overlook judgement. In fact, the fallout of excessive judgement can be quite severe.

Experiencing judgment can lead to anxiety, decreased self-esteem, and feelings of isolation. In the light of cruel judgement, individuals may even feel discouraged from freely expressing themselves, fearing criticism. It can be a significant obstacle in personal development and lead to negative self-perception.

For instance, teenagers are especially vulnerable to judgement, given their formative stage. Heavy judgement from their peers could lead to harmful behavioral changes as they tend to internalize the criticism, affecting their identities’ formation.

How to Cope with Judgement

Coping with judgement begins with a change in perspective. Here are some strategies to guide you on this journey:

1. Practice Self-Acceptance: Acceptance is the first step toward change. Understand that nobody’s perfect and it’s okay to have flaws. Celebrate your strengths and work on areas of improvement at your own pace, without ponder pressure.

2. Seek Constructive Criticism: Not all judgement is unhealthy. Constructive criticism can fuel growth. Learn to differentiate between judgement meant to harm and criticism aimed at helping you improve.

3. Develop Emotional Intelligence: Nurture your ability to understand and manage your emotions. This helps forge stronger relationships and effectively navigate social complexities, minimizing the impact of judgement.

Building Resilience Against Judgement

Resilience towards judgement is an important life skill. Here’s how to cultivate it:

1. Nurture Positive Self-Belief: Firm belief in your abilities can keep external judgement from eroding your self-esteem. Reiterate positive affirmations to build confidence.

2. Build Your Support System: Surround yourself with positive influences – people who inspire, support, and uplift you. They’ll help counterbalance the negativity from judgement.

3. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness promotes acceptance and helps stay centered in our own realities, rather than getting tossed around by others’ opinions.


Whether you’re coping with fleeting instances of judgement or persistent criticism, remember: when people judge, it’s more about them than you. It’s a reflection of their biases and insecurities, not an accurate evaluation of who you are or your worth. The bridge towards resilience against judgement begins with self-acceptance, emotional intelligence, and fostering positivity in your surroundings.

Have you experienced judgement? Do you have your strategies to cope with and overcome it? We’d love to hear what’s worked best for you! Share your stories or thoughts in the comments section and let’s foster a supportive community that rises above judgement, together.