I’m about to reveal to you THE WORST question you can ever ask a man on a first date, or soon after you’ve met him. It’s something that I hear all of
I’m about to reveal to you THE WORST question you can ever ask a man on a first date, or soon after you’ve met him. It’s something that I hear all of the time, and I’m going to explain exactly why it’s the worst question you can ask. The question, and variations of it are, “why are you single, and how are you not married?”
There are a number of other variations, but here’s the thing: Why has someone never been married? Because they didn’t want to be, because they don’t believe in marriage, because they haven’t met the right person, what the hell does it matter? So many women try to pre-qualify and figure out a man, based on his answer to that question. It happens because deep down, it’s a question that YOU have been hearing for so long yourself. YOU have heard it from your friends a million times. When you go to family reunions you hear “why can’t you find a good man to marry you” from your crazy Uncle.
It’s a question that comes pre-ordered from your own issues, and it’s a shocking question to ask a man that you have just met. When you are first getting to know someone, you need to get to know them based on who they are, not on why they are still single. It’s as if you are looking for some huge character flaw in him because he’s single. People don’t get married for a myriad of reasons. Maybe they want to, but they just haven’t found the right person yet. Calm down detective, there will be plenty of time to ask him later.
When you first meet someone, the last thing you want is to be interrogated by them. It’s such a turn off for a man, and when a woman asks me that question, it instantly turns me off. I just feel like, “It’s none of your business!” You have no idea who he is as a man yet, so why would you judge him based on the fact that he’s single. It’s crazy. I’m single for a reason. I’m single because right now, because I want to be single. I’m single because I really want to meet somebody amazing and spectacular. It doesn’t matter what the answer is. What matters is that you have to stop asking that question. You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes right from the get-go and try to put together the entire picture of why this man is single. He’s meeting you, and that’s all you should worry about at the moment.
If you end up liking each other, and are talking about getting serious, then you can have that conversation when you want to figure out where the relationship is going, or not going. When you first meet him, don’t judge him yet. Get to know him. Then you’ll find out about his history. Trust me, it will all come out in time. You’ll learn more about him as you get to know each other. There’s no rush to find out why he’s single. It matters why he’s single, but not “the first time you meet and talk” kind of matters. In any event, the fact he’s single means that he has the potential to be YOUR Mr. Right, in time…