The first time you find out that your partner is having an affair, maybe the world feels like it's crumbling and you must be very angry. It's not easy
The first time you find out that your partner is having an affair, maybe the world feels like it’s crumbling and you must be very angry. It’s not easy to go through life after a painful event like this. However, you have to get rid of these things immediately and focus on your desire for this relationship, want to continue or just want to finish? Is it possible that the relationship can continue after the affair? Check out the reviews below.
Cheating partner, do you want to survive or separate?
Various factors outside of the relationship with the partner (including the factor of already having children) should not be an excuse which sometimes makes the problem even more complicated. This unhappy relationship will only get worse if one of you still insists on each other’s ego and your children so you don’t get a healthy example of marriage.
Basically, the decision to choose to stay or separate after your partner cheating is yours. The key is not to be influenced by other things that make it even more difficult for you to make choices, for example what other people say. Start by making up your mind and heart. After that, consider in detail all the risks you will face in the future, including child custody issues, for example.
If indeed your relationship and your partner cannot be repaired, separating can be the best way. On the other hand, if you and your partner are determined to improve the relationship is also not wrong.
Again, ask yourself, is it still logical to endure having cheated on you multiple times? Or was the decision to end this relationship just because of a moment’s emotion?
Tips for those of you who maintain a relationship after your partner cheats
In many cases, infidelity is the main destroyer in a relationship. Even so, many married couples decide to stay because they have many factors to consider. It’s hard to build confidence again to recover from pain after being cheated on. If you are one of the people in this position, here are tips for maintaining a relationship after an affair.
1. Be honest
Yes, honesty is the main thing you have to do to get up after an affair. Tell your partner in detail about all the complaints you feel. Keeping your feelings of pain on your toes makes the victim of an affair vulnerable to depression because of deep sadness.
Therefore, it is very important for the cheating partner to listen to and understand every complaint conveyed by the victim of an affair.
2. Create rules
It is not uncommon for victims of infidelity to be more possessive of their partners. Yes, this is a defense that is naturally formed so that incidents of adultery don’t happen again. Therefore, for you victims of infidelity, making rules that are agreed upon with your partner is a must.
You can ask your partner to always be ready to answer the phone, even if there is no important conversation to be discussed. In addition, make a deal so that you can view and check the contents of the phone and online activities carried out by your partner.
However, if all of these things have been done but you still have a hard time trusting your partner, it may mean that you and your partner really can’t afford anything anymore.
3. Share responsibilities
People who have had an affair must be willing to bear all the mistakes, regardless of the consequences. Meanwhile, for those of you who are being cheated on, help your partner to get out of the cheating problem he has ever done. For example, by doing marriage counseling together.
Realize that each of you has the same responsibility to build a better relationship in the future.
COMMENTS
Sexism; this implies the man is the cheat -People who have had an affair must be willing to bear all the mistakes, regardless of the consequences. Meanwhile, for those of you who are being cheated on, help your partner to get out of the cheating problem he has ever done. For example, by doing marriage counseling together.
Unfortunately infidelity is never a one time thing. Men and woman are unfaithful not because there is something wrong with their partner but because there is something broken within them. Usually it’s either a desperate attempt to feel they are somehow maintaining control when they feel have lost it. Other times it is an incessant need to feed their ego and fill the bottomless void within them with the adoration of a new relationship, a feeling of being worshipped and loved endlessly, which often fades after some years of cohabitation and children. Other times it is a sickness, an addiction, the excitement of sneaking around, lying, and an escape that will happen again and again, it is a drug. So you can stay and try to make things work but know it will happen again, and eventually a young woman half his age will come along and become his confidant. Someone he can complain about you to, someone who will validate all the issues he has with you and double down eventually telling him he can do better and over time she will pit herself between the two of you making communication impossible. She twist his mind into convincing him you are a terrible person, annoying, using him, and that he shouldn’t leave you and destroy your life in ways so she can ensure you won’t be a part of his life anymore after separation even though you have a child together. He will turn on you, treat you like trash, and callously and cold discard you like trash. He won’t care for your safety and even Be the one to put you in danger because she asked him to.
So go ahead and try to make it work for your child’s sake as I did, but know you are just giving him the opportunity to eventually find someone he feels he can have a better life with and in the end your child will be separated from you scarring her for life. It would have hurt the child less to end things when you first found out. Any man that cheats does not truly love you, they love themselves more.Most are only remorseful until you take them back. People with NPD pathology and Sociopaths feel no guilt or empathy. They feel nothing and Ian why they need to siphon attention, adoration and energy from others constantly. Get out while you can, before it’s too late. Because it won’t get better I promise, you are just providing the opportunity for things to get far worse.