The term "friends become love" can actually happen in real life. Not just a soap opera script. When you know someone very well and spend a lot of time
The term “friends become love” can actually happen in real life. Not just a soap opera script. When you know someone very well and spend a lot of time together, it is not impossible that the seeds of liking begin to emerge. If you already like your own friends, this is where the dilemma starts to emerge. On the one hand, you don’t want the friends you love to be taken away by other people. But on the one hand, if you decide to express your feelings, things will start to get awkward between the two of you. So, maybe, you prefer to move on quickly so you don’t lose your best friend. How to?
It is thought that there is no genuine friendship between a man and a woman. Slowly but surely, there will only be one party who likes the other. If you like friends on your own but still want to put friendship first, here’s what to do:
1. Consider carefully before you express your feelings
Kate Stewart, a relationship counselor in the United States, says you need to express your feelings honestly. If you keep keeping it to yourself, this can disturb you in many ways, including friendship. It could be that you just stay away for a long time because you feel guilty about the feelings you have.
However, it takes courage when you want to express your love for your own friend. The reason is, you need to be prepared for the risk of rejection and awkward friendly relationships.
Hence, there was no need to rush. It’s best to consider the pros and cons when you want to say this. As a friend, you must be familiar with the character quite well. Consider how he would have reacted if he had known your true feelings.
If you are sure and have considered it carefully, it’s time for you to talk to him. Earlier, you could also start showing nonverbal cues, then watch the reaction. If the reaction is positive, then you have good reason to honestly say your feelings. Who knows, he might have the same feelings as you.
2. Keep your distance for a while
What happens when you decide to confess your feelings and your friend doesn’t accept your feelings? Or if you decide to hold on to those feelings but they get bigger every day and you are overwhelmed to hide them?
It will be very difficult to move on when you still have intense interactions with the people you are related to. Therefore, ask for time alone to a friend you like. The goal is that you have room to try to neutralize the feelings you have.
Tell him that you need a moment to be alone. However, also say that this is only temporary until you feel better. Tell him that you still want to be good friends with him as before.
In this alone time, you can do various positive activities with other friends. As much as possible, don’t meet or make contact with a friend you like if you are still having trouble controlling your feelings.
3. Accept the reality
When you dare to express it, you have to be brave about all the risks, including rejection and other unwanted things. Don’t beat yourself up for the feelings you have. There is nothing wrong with liking your own best friend.
Instead, accept these feelings of joy, loss, and disappointment as part of the story of a journey that needs to be passed. Believe me, your heart will be much more relieved when you accept everything gracefully. When this moment appears, you will begin to be able to return to interacting with friends as before.